Early Adventures of Baby L - Ông Ngoại comes to visit Part 2

So when I left off on Saturday in Ông Ngoại comes to visit Part 1, we had no hot water and we had just gone to visit the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque.  Sadly, we still didn't have hot water by Sunday morning, so it was an ultra fast cold shower for Dad and I before we went to church. We decided  to go to mass instead of the Anglican service that G and  I usually go to. I was't 100% sure where the Catholic church was, despite having already been there twice.  My excuse is that G always drives, and I had pregnancy brain!  Anyway, I managed to drive us pretty close to the church, and then we met a lovely couple that was also headed to mass and they showed us the way.  Baby L slept like a champ at church (unlike at the mosque)!

Baby L's first Catholic Mass!

After church, I needed to drop of a bunch of paperwork for Baby L's residency visa.  G and  I are hoping that the  process for her is less cumbersome than the process for him was.  Fortunately, we're not travelling anywhere until January, so per UAE law, we have until 23-Dec to get her residency established.  While she slept like...well, a baby...at church, she woke up on the way to my office. Dad and I parked the car in the basement parking garage of the mall where my office is located and  I fed her in the backseat of the car.  I could have used one of the nursing rooms in the mall, but then I wouldn't have gotten to hang out and chat with Dad about how awesome Baby L was at church.

After my hungry hungry hippo ate and fell back asleep, we swooped into the office to drop off her papers so they could get delivered to the visa team in Dubai.  The office gals fawned over Baby L, but we didn't really stay long enough to make the rounds at the office - after all, she hasn't had her shots yet!  We then ran down to Abu Dhabi Co-Op so Dad could get some chocolate covered dates as gifts for some of his friends.  Note that Co-Op is grocery store #5 for this visit with Dad.  In order of appearance, grocery stores we went to during Dad's 8-day stay:

• Chinese Store
• Spinney's
• Waitrose
• Carrefour
• Abu Dhabi Co-Op 

It's one of the things that drives G and I nuts about this city - there is no one-stop shopping for us. Groceries are this  ongoing almost-daily thing.

Sunday evening, still not hot water (this is now Day #3!).  We went back to the hotel side to shower, and this time, Dad and I were smarter.  Instead of bathing Baby L first in the cold overly AC'ed bathroom, I showered first to get everything nice and steamy.  THEN we bathed Baby L, and Dad showered last while I nursed her.  The whole ordeal involved zero tears and was all around much smoother.

Post-bathtime smiles!

Some giggles when we tickle her tummy!

After so much adventuring, all three of us were ready for a day off.  Monday was pretty low-key...we stayed home, with the exception of Dad running downstairs to Waitrose to pick up a few things.  Dad cooked, Baby L and I took pictures and relaxed.  Baby L got super spoiled with naps on Ông Ngoại's chest. Our hot water came back (Praise the Lord, I don't think I could have done without it much longer).  It was a good day.

Monday night was a different story.  After getting spoiled with a week of tummy time naps, Baby L would not sleep on her back for more than 10-15 minutes.  She would catnap and then wake up crying, and she had a hard time eating.  I cried because I was so tired, Dad cried because he felt bad about how stressed out I was, and Baby L cried because she was tired and hungry.  No one got much sleep.

Fortunately, we didn't have any plans on Tuesday either, just more cooking from Dad and bathtime for Baby L that evening.  We thought maybe a walk in the stroller would help her sleep, so we took her up to the observation deck.  It didn't work.  We decided to just walk around and have lunch back in the apartment instead. After lunch, she finally passed out and all of us got to take a much-needed  nap.  Funny how such a little creature dictates the schedule of two fully grown adults!

Ông Ngoại with his Baby L at the observation deck

Naptime.  Finally!

Tuesday night, Dad copied a video that my uncle Michael had made for my mom's funeral with photos of her as a kid in Vietnam.  I remember watching it right after her funeral and feeling  pretty raw, so I haven't wanted to watch it again since.  I watched it again and cried. Having Dad with me and my daughter has made me miss my mother more than I've ever missed her before.  I see so much of my mom in my daughter, and watching the video, I see the resemblance even more.  Growing up, most people would say I looked more like my Dad, so I'm glad to see my mom's genes passed down.  Dad said something along the lines of, "well, you DID name her after your mom, what did you expect?" Dad and I talked about mom and we both cried again. I feel fortunate that Dad's second wife is so respectful of Mom - she keeps flowers at Mom's grave and talks of her often, even though they never met. At the same time...well, I really miss my mom.

This morning (Wednesday), Dad had to get up at 3am to take a shuttle to Dubai for his 8am flight.  I wanted to drive him to Dubai myself, but with the baby, we both agreed it would be safer for him to take the shuttle - especially since it was offered from the airline for free. Baby L and I got up to say goodbye, there were more tears and more hugs, and then he was gone. I'll be honest, it's been a rough day for me with G in Houston taking care of our move to Dubai and Dad on a plane back to Boston. I hired a doula to visit me for every day during the gap between Dad leaving and G returning, so I'm at least getting to shower and take a nap without worrying about Baby L.  I'm so glad I did, because I didn't expect to have this emotional roller coaster with Dad visiting.  The housekeeping staff has also been wonderful - when they found out I was alone, they stayed a little longer to talk to Baby L and make sure I was ok.  We're counting down the days until G comes home to us!

So hard to say good-bye! :-(  We'll see you again in January in Vietnam!

Early Adventures of Baby L - Ông Ngoại comes to visit Part 1

Baby L has been busy since coming home from the hospital! She had her first visitors right after she turned 2 weeks old - the wife of one of my coworkers helped us out by serving as a witness when G and I needed to have our updated last will & testament notarized, so we invited the couple over to meet Baby L and go out to dinner. Baby L was a perfect angel through dinner, and then had a minor meltdown when we got home (which is perfectly understandable because she was super hungry and didn't really like bottles yet).

That weekend, I took Baby L to see both my doctor and her doctor because she had been really fussy - my perfect angel had turned into a colicky mess! I'm recovering well, my hemoglobin is still low but my lady parts are healing up as intended, so other than taking iron and sleeping more (yeah, right, I have a newborn at home!) I have a clean bill of health. I might be susceptible to lightheadedness due to low hemoglobin levels. Nothing too bad. Despite our best efforts to keep the area clean, Baby L, was diagnosed with an infection at her umbilical cord site. I was given a cream and a powder to apply to the area daily, and instructed to put table salt in the area in the morning and at night to keep it dry. The pediatrician also gave me infacol to help with her relieve some gas (and maybe give me a break from the crying and screaming!). We were to come back in 5 days for a follow-up.

My dad (Baby L's Ông Ngoại, which is Vietnamese for maternal grandfather) arrived late Monday night to help me out since G had to go home to the USA to pack up our home and sell our cars on Wednesday for the big move to Dubai. Baby L's first overseas visitor! Unfortunately, since G had to take care of some visa stuff in Dubai, Baby L and I didn't go with him to pick up Dad at the airport - it would have been a 5-hour trip, which is a bit much for my little newborn. Baby L and I cuddled on the sofa until G and Dad came home. It's been great having Dad here to help out, and Baby L has been spoiled with lots of cuddles and naps on Ông Ngoại's chest.

Baby L loves to curl up against her Ông Ngoại!

They also like to nap together - baby hugs for Grandpa!

While Baby L has been spoiled by the attention, Mama Kim has been spoiled with lots of really delicious home cooking and extra naps while Ông Ngoại plays with Baby L. On Dad's first day here, G took us all grocery shopping at the Chinese grocery store and Spinneys. Dad cooked phở for lunch and dinner and G and I gobbled it up.

G left Wednesday morning, and Dad and I hung out around the hotel. We went to the grocery store here at our apartment complex to pick up a few items we missed the day before, and Dad cooked Vietnamese ramen with roast pork, bacon bits, and baby bok choy. It was so good!! Dad also helped with baby bath time, and we had an amazingly tear-free bath. It was like the stars aligned with Baby L being a little full and sleepy and the bathroom being a little warmer than usual, and with an extra set of hands bathtime was super fast.

It was prettier when Dad served it to me, but I didn't think to take a photo until after I'd started eating :-)

Thursday we had our follow-up with the doctor, and her umbilical was fully healed! I suspect that the pain from the infection was contributing to her fussiness and crying, which then contributed to her gas because since that appointment she has generally been more like the baby angel that I brought home from the hospital. Doc said she wasn't gaining enough weight though, so we've been focusing on feeding to get her weight up, and we'll be back for another check up in 2 weeks. After the doctor's office, we swung by the embassy to pick up Baby L's passport and birth certificate - I couldn't believe how fast it was processed! 10 days!

The photo we used for Baby L's passport, which G and I both think is hilarious!

That evening Dad and I attempted to go out to a nice dinner at Signature by Sanjeev Kapoor. We got through two lovely courses when Baby L decided she wanted to go home - the restaurant staff was wonderful and they packed up the rest of our meal as takeaway and we rushed home with a screaming baby. I have now learned that Baby L's outings are best during the day rather than the evening - she really is a morning baby.

Friday we went grocery shopping again, this time to Carrefour. There is a wider selection of fruit and veg at Carrefour than Spinney's or Waitrose, and Dad wanted to do some extra cooking so I'd have leftovers to eat during the gap between when he left and G came back. We walked around Marina Mall for a bit and then headed to the basement for groceries. I forgot the Carrefour on a Friday is a madhouse - but we got through it! Baby L was a champ until the very end - she was a little fussy in the car, and then she was ok after I fed her at home. Here she is modeling some of the clothes that her new step-grandmother bought for her. Ba Ngoại (maternal grandmother) felt that Baby L didn't have enough pink in her newborn wardrobe, so she rectified that by sending Ông Ngoại with a week's worth of girly baby clothes.

Sweet girl making a not-so-sweet face!

Thoughtful dreams while napping

Baby L's first set of pajamas!

Friday night we had a minor apartment emergency! The hot water started running a disgusting brown color, so when I told the management staff that I needed to bathe my newborn, they offered me a room on the hotel side. Apparently there was an issue with the hot water tank that affected the residences but not the hotel, so we packed up Baby L's bath time stuff and hauled it up to the 50th floor of our tower in seek of clean, hot water. I wish I'd taken some photos of the hotel room, it was really nice. Things were a bit chaotic though, the room was super cold so Baby L was not happy during her bath. She screamed the whole time, and cried and whimpered while I fed her afterwards so we were a little distracted. By the time Dad and I both showered and got Baby L back to our apartment, she had passed out and she slept super hard for the next 4 hours...which meant she was up and being a Jerk Baby (i.e. cluster feeding) pretty much all night.

Today (Saturday morning) I took Dad and Baby L to the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque. Dad and I agreed ahead of time that with Baby L, a tour would be too hard and too long, so we'd just walk through for an hour so he could see it, and then head back home. On the way to the SZGM, Baby L decided it was time to eat and poop, so I learned the new skills of breastfeeding in the car and changing a diaper on the backseat. Fortunately, I am super prepared like a girl scout, so I had everything I needed in her diaper bag. Once she was fed and changed, Dad and I took a quick walkthrough of SZGM.

Baby's first trip to Grand Mosque

Ông Ngoại and Baby L together

No strollers allowed inside the mosque

We got home and I decided to try out the reusable diapers that I purchased for Baby L. We originally decided not to use them until her umbilical cord fell off, and then G asked if we could defer using them until we moved to Dubai. They're just so cute though that I wanted to try them out to see how hard (or easy?) they were. Plus Baby L has been getting a little diaper rash, so I thought these might help with that too.

They're a little bulky under her onesies, but how cute are they?!?

I've heard rave reviews for these Best Bottom All-In-2 diapers, so we shall see before G gets back from Houston whether Baby L and I love them or hate them! Until next time!!

Funny Observations on Motherhood

Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is also beautiful, and with the right mindset, highly entertaining. I'm so grateful for our little hungry hungry hippo, and we just love her so so much!  I have more serious things to say about most of these topics, but I'll save those for another day -- after our long birth story, the blog needs something a little more light-hearted!

Breastfeeding
I LOVE breastfeeding my baby.  Yes, it's sometimes challenging, but it is usually one of the best parts of my day. She makes the most hilarious faces when she's on my boob! I wish I could post her funny faces without posting...well, my boob.  And when she's trying to find my nipple, she raises her head, her eyes get really wide, her lips form a little "o", she shakes her head a little bit, and then she DIVES into my nipple like a bird chasing a worm.  Sometimes she misses and she headbutts my boob in the process.  It makes me laugh every time!

FEED ME!!!

Cluster Feeding
This has become a 4-letter word in our home.  When Baby L decides she only wants to eat for 5-10 minutes before falling asleep and then wakes up 20-30 minutes later to feed again, we call her Jerk Baby.  Her favorite time of day to be a Jerk Baby?  Between 3am and 5am.  Brat.  We still love her.

Milk Supply
I think Baby L has finally caught up, but for about a week, I was in oversupply.  Yes, there is such a thing!  Oversupply meant that Baby L hiccuped and spit up a lot because she was gorging herself and causing some reflux.  It also meant that I leaked everywhere.  Those TV sitcoms where mom's are leaking?  I didn't think they were real until I started leaking everywhere!  I pumped some to compensate, but I didn't want to pump too much to exacerbate the problem.  Which brings me to the next topic.

Nipple Confusion
Or lack thereof.  The nurses in the hospital fed her with a syringe, which is a pain in the butt.  We decided she's going to have to learn the bottle, so we might as well start now.  The first bottle we gave her (A Phillips Avent bottle that we got for free) is supposedly breast-like.  Well, I tried to give her the bottle, and while she was drinking, she gave me a dirty look and then spit everything back up. There is no confusion on this end, our #divababy knows what nipple is what.  We have had some success with medela bottles, but she's still not a fan.

I'll let Daddy feed me with a bottle.  Sometimes. If I'm hungry enough.

Dry Skin
I read a ton before giving birth, but I was not ready for all the skin on her body to be cracked and peeling.  I mean, it makes sense, I just didn't expect it.  At her first appointment, the doc said to use lotion to help prevent her becoming excessively dry and possibly infected.  I have tried 2 kinds of baby lotion and 2 kinds of rash cream, and she hates them all.  I rub them in my hands to warm them, and she still hates them and screams at me when I try to put them on her.  So my #divababy now gets the royal treatment with mommy's $50-a-bottle organic cold-pressed jojoba oil. She seems to love her little oily massages, and jojoba oil absorbs nicely into her skin without leaving a greasy residue. Baby L has expensive taste!  Good thing a little oil goes a long way!

Diapers
So changing diapers for us is usually changing 2 diapers in a row because the little stinker likes to poop into a fresh diaper.  Does anybody know the reason for this?  Seriously, this double diaper habit is a little ridiculous.  She also likes to poop right onto the changing pad, or like this morning, she likes to projectile poop mid-diaper change. Poor G is slightly traumatized from the projectile poop experience because the poop flew about 4 feet from her butt.

Changing Clothes
Baby L hates changing clothes.  Somehow, she seems to know when we're unsnapping and snapping her onesie, because that's when she starts and stops crying.  How she knows, I have no idea, because it's not like her bum isn't covered by...well, a DIAPER, so she shouldn't be able to feel the breezes blowing into her nether regions when we're snapping and unsnapping the onesies.  She's kind of psychic like that.

I hate being naked!!  Put some clothes on me!!!

Swaddles
I've mentioned Baby L is an escape artist.  The doctor doesn't like the zipper swaddles we have because he thinks they restrict her leg movement which is not great for her hips...so we've decided to use them for maybe a month or so, and then we'll give them up.  We just love them because she can't get out of them.  She manages to break out of her blanket swaddles with ease, and the velcro swaddle effectiveness depends on how squirmy she is.

I love my freedom from swaddles!

Dirty Laundry
I knew going in that babies generate a lot of laundry - burp cloths, messy clothes, swaddles, crib sheets, and all that.  I've given up on all her stuff being clean. The decision tree is now, "Is there poop on it?  No?  Is it dry?  Yes?  Ok, good enough!"

Drooling
Maybe it's just a function of me being sleep deprived, but ever since I came home from the hospital, I wake up in a puddle of drool on my pillow.  Apparently, like baby, like mommy???

Mommy's Sleep
Before I was pregnant, I was a stomach sleeper.  I managed to sleep on my stomach through my first trimester and then after that it was propping myself up on a pile of pillows to stay on my side.  I was sooooo looking forward to sleeping on my stomach after birth.  Nope.  Boobs full of milk are really hard to sleep on!  So piles of pillows it is for now.  Total bummer.

All kidding aside, we love our little sweet pea, she brings us so much joy!  From her facial expressions (which we know she has no control over!) to her flailing arms and legs, every day there is something new and silly to discover about this little peanut!

Early Adventures of Baby L - US Citizenship

Since both G and I are US citizens who have lived in the USA, and we are in married, Baby L is automatically a US Citizen upon birth.  Unfortunately, saying that is a lot easier than putting together the paperwork to report her birth abroad.  Since I know everyone is wondering, Baby L is not a UAE Citizen.  In the UAE, unlike the USA, being physically born in the country is not enough.  You must be born to Emirati parents to have citizenship, so Baby L does not qualify.

G has been a champion in this effort.  Usually administrative paperwork is my forte (I mean, my title at work IS "Business Lead"), and with me working and him at home, he has taken on responsibility for making sure we have all of our expat documents in order.  Baby L's proof of US Citizenship falls within G's domain, and so he put together the list of documents.

Step 1 is getting an official birth certificate from the hospital.  Like everything having to do with the government, this sounds easier than it actually is.  Because of Sharia Law in the UAE, we have to provide a government attested marriage license - it is illegal to have premarital sex in this country, let alone have a child.  Next after marriage license, we need to provide passports, copies of our residency visas, and our Emirates ID cards.  My paperwork was easy because I received my visa and Emirates ID at the end of July.  G's was harder - we have been waiting for the processing of his residency visa for weeks, and so he had to provide a copy of his old residency visa in Abu Dhabi, his old Emirates ID, and a letter stating that his visa was not yet complete.  Figuring out which  documents  G had to provide took several submissions to the  office that  issues formal birth certificates since they kept kicking it back and asking for something different. Finally, 5 days after Baby L was born, the hospital finally issued us a birth certificate.

Step 2 is getting an appointment with the embassy.  You can only do this via email, and you have to attach scanned copies of all the required documents to the email.  The embassy only does Consular Report of Birth Abroad appointments Sunday thru Wednesday from 1:00pm-2:30pm.  G had gathered all our documents ahead of time and filled out all the forms except Baby L's birth date and signature dates - this  is the list of what was required:

DS-2029 (CRBA Form)
DS-11 (Passport application for minors)
SS-5 (Social Security Application)
Official Birth Certificate
Marriage License
Divorce Decrees for both parents
Passports for both parents
Residency history for both parents

G emailed the embassy the day that we received Baby L's birth certificate, and we were able to get an appointment one week later.  This was a big win for us because G would be heading home soon to pack up our home goods, so if we couldn't get an appointment within 2 weeks of receiving her birth certificate, we were going to have to wait until the last week of September to start the process.

Ready for our appointment at the embassy!

Step 3 is going to the embassy with all the documents above, plus extra copies of everything to leave with the embassy.  They'll make copies for you there at the embassy, and of course, they charge you for each copy so G printed 3 copies of everything ahead of time.

Actually getting into the embassy is interesting.  There is a line of people waiting outside the embassy - those are non-citizens applying for various visas to the USA.  They are allowed to interview for their visas after 2pm, so in general, it's best to schedule appointments with the embassy before then. US Citizens just need to show a passport and printed notification of appointment to get in.  Once inside, all cell phones, purses, and car keys are surrendered to the security guard - he gave us a ticket to collect our items afterwards.  We were allowed to bring in water once we taste-tested it in front of them, Baby L's diaper bag once it ran through the x-ray scanner, our paperwork, and a bottle for Baby L in case she got hungry.  Security also swab-tested Baby L's carseat before allowing that through.

Once inside the embassy, G and  I went through all the documents with the clerk, we paid our fees, and then we were interviewed by a state department official. We had to swear that all the documents were accurate, sign them, and that was it! We were given a receipt and told her passport and CRBA should be ready for pickup in 2-3 weeks.  They do not have "expediting" options for overseas  passports, but since there are so few applied for abroad, the overseas passports are processed at about the same speed as expedited passports at home.

Baby L was an angel for all of Step 3.  She slept the entire time we were at the embassy with only a few squeaks coming out of her carseat.  The odd thing for me was that nobody ever asked to actually see her, I was expecting to have to take her out of the carseat.  Nope.  Just her being there was enough.

Now, as I mentioned in Step 1, normally, all of this would be relatively painless.  The major wrinkle in the whole thing has been G's Dubai residency visa. We've been having  to shuttle his passport back and forth between Abu Dhabi and Dubai so that the team working on his  visa  application has  it when he needs it, while at the same time we have it for application of Baby L's passport.  In addition to that, G has had to make a few trips to Dubai in person because while our visa application team has  a lot of relationships with government officials, sometimes you just need to show up to get the process moving again.  Now that Baby L's documents are in processing for the next 2-3 weeks, we headed over to my office so we could give G's passport to one of the project team drivers to take back to the Dubai team to finalize his residency visa. We are hopeful his residency visa is sorted out within the week since he has to leave the country soon, and that Baby L's Dubai residency visa will be less challenging that G's was!

Baby Story - Birth Story Photos

For a full text account of the birth story of Baby L and I, you can start here:Baby Story - Part 1. These photos, taken by the amazing Lacey Sexson of Lacey Sexson Photography cover a good chunk of Parts 2 & 3 of our story.

Honestly, I  LOVE working with Lacey. We had such a great time during our maternity session earlier in the summer. She is incredibly professional, and her photographs, particularly in the delivery room, are both tasteful and powerful.  I think she actually got to the delivery room a bit earlier than she needed to -- our target was dilation of 6cm, and she arrived when I was still around 5cm.  Little did she know how long she'd have to wait for the big show!

Even more than providing photography services, Lacey was a cheerleader and friend when I needed one so far away from home.  Having delivered 3 of her own children and experienced the full gamut of pain management and induction options through her 3 deliveries, she was able to offer advice and suggestions to me through the process.  My husband G is wonderful, and he's obviously never delivered a baby, so I welcomed the extra support. I hope our friends and family enjoy these photos as much as we do!

For an extra special treat, scroll down to the very bottom for Lacey's video montage, featuring a recording by G.

Early in the evening, still fresh from the epidural - I didn't know there'd be such a long night ahead!
That amazing moment when my wonderful doc places Baby L on  me...love at first site.  So relieved she is crying loudly.
G cuts Baby L's umbilical cord while I give her my first kiss - even messy out of the womb, she is perfect!
	Of every moment captured, this one is my favorite - G and Baby L, in love!
Our first family photo!

Baby L, you are our Sunshine, now and always!